Stuff White People Like.

I really enjoy reading the blog "Stuff White People Like" (that I have graciously linked for you). Some of the entries are really hilarious but for the most part I think the writer ignores some of the more subtle reasons to make fun of white people. My favorite entries on the "Stuff White People Like" blog are "Apologies", "Knowing What's Best For Poor People", "Difficult Breakups", and "Co-Ed Sports".

I came up with a few of my own.
1) High 5's at social gatherings or maybe just any occasion. Why is it necessary to give everyone around you at a baseball game a High-5 when your team hits a home run? They love to turn to you (a complete stranger) and celebrate something they really had no part in. Not only do they love to invite the community to the High-5 event they're hosting, they love to awkwardly stare into your eyes while they're doing it. Maybe while looking into your eyes they completely forget that they aren't even good at the High-5. They love doing it even though they suck at it, kind of like cooking Mexican food. Oh yeah, they are also the only ones to grab your hand during some High-5's. They grab your hand on contact and then shake it a bit. It's fucking creepy and not cool.

The guy in black is definitely going for the grab and shake.

2) Threatening Police Officers by asking for their badge numbers and telling them they are going to report them. White people love to complain about how "unfair" police officers are being when they get a ticket for running a red light in their Toyota Highlanders on their way to their kid's piano class. "I do not have to take this abuse!" I think someone needs to let these white people in on what the brown population considers "abuse". They also love mentioning what college they attended to make sure they let the police officer know they are "educated". "I have a Master's from The Ohio State University, you won't get away with this". Fuck you.

I guess white people like to make ridiculous expressions too (look at Officer Friendly).

Uh Oh. Mi hombre tiene muchas problemas! Translation: Good luck with that one, Mexican.

3) Talking on their cellphone and waving to the camera when they are in the background of a sporting event. Turn on any sports game (especially baseball, especially the Chicago Cubs) and look in the background. Look at the asshole(s) on their cellphone. Watch them. There. They waved. And they're still waving. And guess what, they're on the phone saying, "Hey can you see me? I'm the one waving". We get the point dude.

Bill White Guy here is just looking for a camera to get in on. (Sorry I surprisingly couldn't find any pictures of Cubs fans yackin it up.)

4) Rehab. Drug addictions are popular among rich white people (and definitely a prerequisite for being a hipster, which is a post for another day). They love to show "deep regret" of their behavior. First they must have some difficult times but the family will be there with "all the support they need". Then, they'll check in and come back saying they found the big J-dogg (Jesus, but really they should be looking for Waldo) or they'll say they want to turn their lives around. Like most drug addicts. They don't. They just like wasting everyone's time and money.

I have so many more.