Unfair.

Mr. Death Cab for Cutie is laying the smack down on Zooey Deschanel. Hardbody to the max degree.

I'm still trying to decide if I should be happy about this or not. On one hand, I'm not a fan of Death Cab for Cutie and the "I'm A Pussy!" anthems they create. But on the other hand, this guy is an ugly ass dude that tricked a total dime piece into thinking he was cool and "deep." That should be a sign that there is still hope for me and my kind. You know, the "I'm too good for everything and talk shit about things because I'm insecure" kind. Don't act like you don't know! After all, you are reading this...

Larry had a point.

In the "Christ Nail" episode of Curb, Larry tells Cheryl's father that worshipping a guy is a bit gay. He then goes on to talk about how it would better appeal to him if it were a woman. Good looking woman, good sense of humor. He was definitely onto something...

Playboy later apologized saying that they didn't mean any offense by the image. What a god damn joke. Of course they knew it was going to offend people. Everything offends those people. Anyways, it's not like Playboy's target market are church-going evangelicals, so we won't see a decline in their sales. They knew that. As far as this Virgin Mary goes...Jesus.

Loose Leaf Tea Loft

For the four people who read this blog "regularly." First I must thank you. Thank you. If you don't already know, a new buddy of mine named Conor (not the little dude) opened up a tea shop with his girlfriend Michelle. I stopped by yesterday and was really impressed with the setup, tea selection, and the idea that some people actually work towards their goals. If you like to sit around and write novellas as much as I do, this is a perfect place.

It's on Lincoln just north of Irving Park Rd. on the corner of Lincoln and Hutchinson (4229 N Lincoln). Tell all your friends.

Ching Chong Chinaman.

The very first Vietnamese-American was elected to the House of Representatives by the people of Louisiana. He even admits that he only won because there was a really low turnout since the election was held a month after the Nov. 4th election and people were already back to their bullshit lives. Anh "Joseph" Cao. I love the fact that the name he goes by regularly needs to be in quotations. White people thoughts: I'm sure this "Joseph" thinks he's "American" but we all know his real name. It's Charlie.

I'm glad there is a black dude in the white house. It definitely shows that America is progressing somewhat when it comes to race issues. However, I'm also happy because he's not an Asian dude, which protects my right to bitch about everything and anything. Until an Asian dude is in the big office giggling at jokes a little bit too hard causing his frizzy hair to vibrate, I will continue to blame the "man" for all of my problems. This dude also needs to be bad at dancing but badass at karaoke. If all of these stereotypes are fulfilled, I may rethink my whole life strategy. But until then, let's laugh at this Vietnamese-American conservative idiot. I bet he is going to own some n00bs in Congress.

And if you don't know what "own some n00bs in Congress" means. Congratulations, you're not Asian!

-Marty

What Winter usually brings.

As it gets colder and darker out, many people slip into what could be called depression. With people hiding away in corners of their lives (not just for winter), I decided I'd try to cheer them up by Google-ing the word "depressed" and picking out my favorite pictures. (Googling?...that sounds kind of perverted...Example: "Hey Mark did you see Sally at work yesterday? What I would give to go Googling in that ass(hole)!" "You're not kidding bro!" 2) Barb: "Marty what are you Googling?" Marty: "Myself.")

What these people and graphic-type things must be thinking:

What the four holding hands are singing to the sitting one: "C'mon Michael, Dad didn't mean all those nasty things he said about your nose."

This dude must be seriously depressed because I found him on two different websites with two different pictures.

"Lord, please make Bright Eyes come out with a new CD. I promise to take a shower if you fulfill my prayer."

"ANOTHER FUCKING CONOR OBERST SOLO ALBUM! GOD DAMNIT!"

(Or maybe "I can't believe Laura dumped me.")

"This chair sucks."

"Like most people I have nothing to be depressed about. But it's so fun to pretend!"

I'm not sure this was labeled correctly:

Him - "This is FUCKING AWESOME!"

Her - "He's going for the eyes again."

Oh yeah:

"Now the couple holding hands in this Bus Station lobby, only remind me of a time when I was alone As they whisper softly quiet sweet words in A foreign language that I’ve never heard This city’s tiring, but I Can’t escape it now It’s a cup of coffee far too strong for Consumption or snobbish delight Or a nightmare, waking up staring, searching for your face just to clear my head This city’s tiring, but I Can’t escape it now Now I know what I want But it’s not exactly what I thought it was Now that’s probably a good thing If we just stay the way we are You and I can feel this moment come Built up from what we’ve become It’s all I know and all I see And it’s all that I can be But it’s something new to me So it’s the disappointment of 24 hour delayed That makes me think that, maybe I’ll never get home But thank goodness for, the letter that make me feel that Perhaps I will never be alone."

And of course:  

"Why are all of these Asian stereotypes so true?"