Bro Rock.

I'm not sure this is 100% real. Just a typical night with some bros.

Dirty South-west Airlines.

They get nasty on Southwest. Looks like that's the only airline I'll be flying these days.

That's right.

It's all about the Bulls. Bitches.

America!

Let's be grateful that this guy is holding his peter hostage. I just can't imagine what he was trying to accomplish with this picture. Sex? With what species of animal?

Observe and Report

I have never been more uninterested/scared of a movie release than I am with Observe and Report. It's not that I'm sick of Seth Rogen or the fact that him and his gang of "normal" white guys keep coming out with the exact same movie under a different name. It's because this new Mall Cop movie really provides a scapegoat to all the people I talk shit to (millions). Never once have I seen myself, physically speaking, in a character more than that of these two silly looking chinamen. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. Every time I see Mr. Denzel or Will Smith droppin' the hammer on some bitch ass motherfuckers I find myself saying, "Yea, that's like what I do."

This is comparable to when "McLovin" was a huge success among all the Will Ferrell worshipers. All the short white guys with glasses had to hear, "McLovin, boom chicka wah!" Or whatever other stupid shit that mark ass bitch had to say for himself. Now, I'm going to have to hear, "What's up Yuan twin, [insert unoriginal catch phrase here]," from all those I've offended. Not cool at all.

One of these days there is going to be a movie where a little asian lookin dude saves Kristen Bell or Jessica Biel from a terrible relationship because of his charm and intelligence. Actually, I wouldn't bet on it.

Ying Yang Twins to Change Name After Another Brother is Found.

The Hip-Hop culture in America has finally gotten its much-needed makeover. After weeks of DNA tests, it has finally been proven that the young gentleman pictured above is indeed the third part to the Ying Yang gang.

“You know whenever they whispered on that one song, they as in my new brothers Kaine and D-Roc, I listened and just felt a part of me in the crunk-itude,” said Marty C. newly named “M-Cizzle,” by himself. “It’s a soft ‘C’ sound.” The overwhelming happiness could not go unnoticed as M-Cizzle stood up at the press conference and said he’d like to see the all-male group of news reporters “whistle while they twurk,” making it obvious he didn’t fully understand the meaning of the expression.

It hasn’t been all smiles though. Kaine and D-Roc, the original twins, had harsh words to say about their new brother. “Dude corny, plain and simple,” said Kaine the one responsible for the weird screaming that accompanies most Ying Yang Twins tracks. “I mean, first of all he’s from Chicago. We the Kings of the ATL, how the hell do he think he a part of this?”

Planning on moving to Atlanta to be closer to his family M-Cizzle talks excitedly about meeting his brothers. He also has new ideas for the fading rap duo, “I’d like to whistle on some songs and you know I love my brothers, but I think the grunting and yelling in the background has really been a bit lackluster on their latest tracks.”

D-Rock, still not knowing what to make out of all the news, has been a little bit more open-minded, “You know, I talked to Marty the other night and he seemed like a nice dude and all and had some really good ideas. He talkin’ about getting back to our roots. Singin’ and rappin’ about shit we love. Clothes, bank rolls, and hoz. I agree. We’ll make it happen.”

The news has come as a shock to many Hip-Hop heads around the country but many are curious to see what will happen with the new member of the group. Hip-Hop sales have been down because of the lack of creativity and dishonest portrayal of what should be embraced in the music. When asked recently if M-Cizzle will be the breath of fresh air Hip-Hop music needs, Kaine replied, “Does this mu-fucka even know we ain’t real twins? We ain’t related. Who did these DNA tests? Now we gon’ have to be the Ying Yang Triplets? That don’t even make no sense.”