Observe and Report

I have never been more uninterested/scared of a movie release than I am with Observe and Report. It's not that I'm sick of Seth Rogen or the fact that him and his gang of "normal" white guys keep coming out with the exact same movie under a different name. It's because this new Mall Cop movie really provides a scapegoat to all the people I talk shit to (millions). Never once have I seen myself, physically speaking, in a character more than that of these two silly looking chinamen. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. Every time I see Mr. Denzel or Will Smith droppin' the hammer on some bitch ass motherfuckers I find myself saying, "Yea, that's like what I do."

This is comparable to when "McLovin" was a huge success among all the Will Ferrell worshipers. All the short white guys with glasses had to hear, "McLovin, boom chicka wah!" Or whatever other stupid shit that mark ass bitch had to say for himself. Now, I'm going to have to hear, "What's up Yuan twin, [insert unoriginal catch phrase here]," from all those I've offended. Not cool at all.

One of these days there is going to be a movie where a little asian lookin dude saves Kristen Bell or Jessica Biel from a terrible relationship because of his charm and intelligence. Actually, I wouldn't bet on it.