Since I lost my camera in Paris (I'm sure no one really feels sorry for me, afterall I was in Paris) I will have to try charm you guys with my words. The pen is mightier than the really fucking expensive digital camera. Damnit. Anyways, in my attempt to take a picture of what I look like (you should see my stomach, lordy) I took a badass picture of myself rocking my awesome Bears shirt. Since all the cool kids are updating their facebook profiles with pictures of Brian Urlacher or their imitation of Brian Urlacher (by wearing the jersey, it doesn't really work with fat mexican girls, sorry better luck next year), I decided to try it myself. And as you can tell, it didn't work. Meet Marty a 34-year-old peep show actor that loves to drink Boone's Farm and watch reruns of Roseanne, all while dreaming about what Condoleeza Rice looks like nakie (oh my god). But seriously, look at this picture, I think it might be the worst one I've ever taken. I actually used to think that it was impossible for me to take a bad picture. Silly Marty. This has ruined my pride (my ego) and has scared the kids. Anyways, print this picture out and put it around town and tell people that this is what Glasgow does to you. I thought this shit only existed on Jerry Springer and Maury.
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